Please check out today's Strangerville, which includes one of my favorite stories we have ever produced. More info at the bottom of this post.
Matt had a party yesterday because his town had its summer festival and they were shooting off fireworks at the park just behind his house. He throws this party every summer because his backyard is a perfect vantage point for fireworks viewing.
Matt decided to prepare a taco bar for the 20 or so guests that would be coming to the party.
Now, I wasn't born in a barn. Bob and Cathie taught me Jesus's's way, which is that one should never go to any party empty-handed. So I called Matt yesterday morning and asked him what he thought I should bring.
Matt told me that he had already bought so much meat that he is for sure going to hell now and so he suggested that we bring "a sweet snack."
I want everyone to close their eyes for a second and imagine that your friend who has invited you to a small party where normal food will be eaten has asked if you could bring "a sweet snack." Put yourself in the position of Eli Whittlemouse McCann. And I want you to imagine what it is that you would probably bring in this situation.
Some of you would make cookies. Some of you would buy cookies. All of you would do something very normal. Like cookies.
Look. I should have known better. I've been burned by him before. I should have known not to send Skylar into the store to get "a sweet snack" for the party. He has a history of making really strange choices in these situations. Remember that time we were going to a pumpkin carving party and he was supposed to buy two pumpkins and he bought one the size of a house and one of those flat white ones?
But one of us needed to stay in the car with Duncan while the other ran into the store, and I was driving, so it just seemed easier to send him. And it seemed so obvious that "a sweet snack" meant something very normal. Like cookies.
So when he came out of the store and climbed into the car, I didn't even think to ask him what he got. I just assumed that he was a normal human being with normal human being decision-making skills, despite all evidence to the contrary.
We finally got to Matt's house and that's when I finally decided to ask him what he got.
Remember how earlier in this post I asked you to think about how you would interpret the scripture of Matt? Recall what you decided "a sweet treat" means.
Now compare it to the two large bags of cotton candy and what looked like a birthday cake Skylar pulled out of a Smith's grocery store sack.
1. I didn't even know you could buy cotton candy at the grocery store.
2. What the hell aisle is that even on?
3. This was an adult party. With adults. All attendees were over the age of 27 and most were in their late 30s.
4. Has any adult ever wanted to eat cotton candy?
5. How do you even share a bag of cotton candy at a party?
6. This was a grocery store where there were many sweet treat options available: LIKE COOKIES.
7. Despite all of those options, Skylar chose cotton candy.
8. TWO bags of cotton candy.
9. WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE BIRTHDAY CAKE YET.
10. It was no one's birthday.
11. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH COOKIES.
Skylar was asked by nearly every single person at the party, mostly politely, what prompted the choices he made. He never was able to give an adequate answer.
The cotton candy and the cake went completely untouched all night.
Skylar is a very weird person who does very weird things that drive me insane.
It's probably the thing I love most about him.
P.S. Skylar just read this post and objected to my accusation that he never came up with a good explanation for his choices. So I asked him to give me one and he said "well, I thought Matt's party was Mexican-food themed and when I saw cotton candy I thought 'fiesta!'"
This time in Strangerville, a two-time refugee gets a surprise many decades after fleeing East Germany.StoryEscape, by Eva-Maria BatesMusic: Adventure, Darling by GillicuddyFrom: The Free Music ArchiveProduced by Eli McCann and Meg Walter
~It Just Gets Stranger