A Conversation at a Bar During Lunch Yesterday
Daniel: What are we doing tonight?

Eli: Well Mark invited us over to his place for ice cream so we'll be going to that.

Daniel: Sweet. And . . . is that my shirt?

Eli: Huh? Oh this? Mind your own business please.

Daniel: This IS my business. You are wearing my clothes again!

Krishelle: So this is really a thing? He really wears your clothes?

Daniel: When he picked me up at the airport last week, every single thing he was wearing belonged to me.

Eli: Well should I have come naked instead?!

Krishelle: Why is that the alternative? Why wouldn't you just go wearing your own clothes?

Daniel: Well, in his defense, all of his clothes were dirty at the time.

Eli: Yeah! So back off, Krishelle!

Krishelle: So why didn't you just do laundry when you ran out of clothes?


Krishelle: What? Why is that funny?

Daniel: Eli doesn't do laundry. It's not something he does.

Eli: Yeah. And Daniel failed to leave me four weeks worth of clothes before he left so eventually I ran out of everything and had to start wearing stuff multiple times. It was really terrible.

Daniel: And I already apologized for that. But I'm just wondering why you are wearing my shirt now after I did laundry two days ago?

Eli: I'm doing try-outs with "your" clothes to decide which to take home with me in September.

Daniel: Um . . .

Eli: Oh. Just got a text. Ugh. Mark says that instead of going to his place there is going to be some party at a restaurant for a woman named "Suzanne" and we are invited to that.

Daniel: Do we have to go?

Krishelle: Who's Suzanne?

Eli: No idea.

Daniel: We don't even know who this lady is. She's probably a serial killer. Let's not go.

Woman at the Bar: Uh . . . I'm Suzanne.

Daniel, Krishelle, & Eli: . . . HI SUZANNE!!! NICE TO MEET YOU!!!

Suzanne: You don't have to come if you don't want to. But it really isn't going to be a big party or anything.

Daniel: I'm sure it's going to be great! I think we will come!

Eli: You betcha!

Daniel: [out of the side of his mouth] when did you start saying "you betcha?!"

Eli: [out of the side of my mouth] uncomfortable things happening inside of me!

Suzanne: No worries. I just wanted to let you know I'm Suzanne before you started saying anything else that you might not want spread throughout the island.

[long awkward silence]

Eli: So Suzanne, do you think this shirt fits me or would it be better on a giant person?

~It Just Gets Stranger