I just pulled up the pictures from my phone this week and almost all of them sucked. So this is probably the most lackluster Friday picture performance in Stranger history.

But I at least have a couple I need to share with you. Yesterday my assistant walked into my office and said, "Uh . . . Eli? I have a package here from Wheeler Farm for you."

Wheeler Farm is this place near Salt Lake City that every child within a 100 mile radius visits for a school field trip at least 70 times during the course of their public education. For normal children, it is a magical place full of chickens and cows and unicorns, etc. Wheeler Farm is probably the reason I hate animals.

I opened the package and found this inside:

That's a sweater with a chicken on the front of it. And if I could figure out how to get the thing out of the box without spreading homemade confetti all over my office, I would be wearing it RIGHT NOW.

Sometimes you people freak me out. Which is why I love you. But this is also why I'm afraid of you and have just petitioned to get a restraining order against everyone in the world besides Paul Simon. Which is ironic because Paul Simon is the only person in the world who has a restraining order against me.

Crap to distract you from whatever you're supposed to be doing:

Magic vines. This is incredible. Thanks, Kenneth.

A million people have sent this to me so I guess I should share it. Although GROSS. Check out the top review.  Thanks, all.

30 hilarious notes from children. Thanks, many of you.

Incredible photos taken by a mother of her two children in Russia. Thanks, Stephanie.

Cat heaven. Thanks, Melissa.

Homeless man vs. cat. Thanks, Jeff.

Art on the side of very dirty cars. Thanks, The Suzzzz.

IKEA/Gravity parody. Thanks, Mike.

One of my new favorite videos on Youtube. "What kind of Asian are you?" Thanks, Ben.

~It Just Gets Stranger