I have a new "what the kids are doing" to tell you about. There's this brand new thing that must have just started like within the last two months or something where you go onto what the kids are calling "the Internets" and you post pictures of yourself and your food. I don't know why they are doing this and I can only assume it's all about drugs and sex and it is for those reasons but I decided I should probably investigate it and find out what's going on so that you all won't be in the dark anymore.

It's called "the Instagram." And despite its VERY MISLEADING name, this is not a cookie that you get to eat instantly. I have been hearing people talk about this for a while and it piqued my interest much more when I thought it was a cookie.

"Eli, you should TOTALLY get Instagram."

"Instagram is the bomb.com."

"Eli, you are so awesome and I've never seen better hair on anyone else and don't listen to Cathie when she tells you that you look pale EVERY TIME she sees you and then asks if you're sick because she can't accept that that's your natural color."


What Instagram is is a place on the Internets where you go and just post pictures and let other people see them. So it's basically exactly like Pinterest, Facebook, the Twitter, Blogger, your refrigerator, telephone poles, and if you are anybody who goes to the same gym as me, a human body.

I got a the Instagrams account so that my 14 disappointed Twitter followers who get angry because I don't Tweet often can start getting angry that I don't post pictures often somewhere else. You can find me on the Instagrams here, posting out-of-focus pictures of my food. And while we're at it, you might as well join the group on Facebook, too. That's a piece of social media that I at least kind of know how to use.

Now every single time I get a new Instagram follower, my phone freaks out. And I always think it's a text message so I get excited because WHAT IF PAUL SIMON!? But then I find out that it's not a text from Paul Simon and instead it's just another person for whom I have a new responsibility to provide photographic evidence that I'm eating dinner. My life is stressful, guys.

Hashtag nofilter.

~It Just Gets Stranger