Ring ring

Eli: Becky?!


Eli: No. You have tried to call me 2 times.


Eli: Someone was trying to murder you?

Rebecca: Someone is always trying to murder me! That's why I call you!

Eli: I would encourage you to reach out to an emergency response team and not a 33-year-old man 2,000 miles away who just realized he has 11 pillows in his house despite having never bought a pillow in his life.

Rebecca: Well I have important things to tell you! You need to answer the phone when I call!

Eli: I mean, where did all of these pillows come from? How did I end up with any pillows?

Rebecca: I have big news for you! BIG news!

Eli: Now that I think about it, I don't even know where one buys pillows in the first place.

Rebecca: The BIGGEST news ever!

Eli: Have I ever even seen pillows in a store?

Rebecca: Are you sitting down for my big news?

Eli: Maybe nobody buys pillows? Maybe everyone is like me. They have a house full of pillows and they have no idea where they came from.

Rebecca: Get ready! Because I'm about to tell you my big news!

Eli: I can't even think of a brand that makes pillows. Is there a famous pillow company I'm just not thinking about?

Rebecca: You are just going to DIE when you hear this!

Eli: Maybe the mattress companies? Do mattress companies make pillows? Do they just come with the mattresses? Is that how everyone has pillows? We buy mattresses and they just send a few home with us?

Rebecca: And I want YOU to be the first to hear it!

Eli: Are pillows like the fortune cookie of the bedding industry?

Rebecca: I'm PREGNANT!

Eli: Pillows are kind of a weird thing anyway. It's a soft piece of material we put all over our houses so we can rest our heads for 1/3 or more of our lives.


Eli: How did evolution not make us strong enough to support our own heads?

Rebecca: ELI!!! I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!!

Eli: . . . why are you yelling?

Rebecca: I'm trying to tell you that I'm pregnant!

Eli: Oh crap. I just remembered I was supposed to explain sex to you on your wedding day. Is this all my fault?

Rebecca: Well I'm glad you didn't because I WANT to have this baby. This is GOOD news!

Eli: This IS good news! I can't believe there's finally going to be a baby named after me.

Rebecca: I'm never going to get tricked into doing that no matter how subtly you slip it in.

Eli: Are you going to have a baby shower?

Rebecca: Yes.

Eli: Can I come?

Rebecca: Of course.

Eli: I already know what I'm going to get you as a gift!

Rebecca: Is it a pillow?

Eli: No. You can't actually buy those anywhere.

Congrats, you two.

~It Just Gets Stranger