So the other day I posted that thing about Strangerhood of the Traveling Snuggie and I thought that maybe you guys would all just think it was such a stupid idea that you would be ashamed to know me and you would delete my number from your phones. But instead eleventy hundred of you emailed me your addresses and social security numbers and names of your children's pediatricians, which was weird because I already have a pediatrician.

First of all, it's very alarming how easy it is to get you people to send me your addresses on the internet. WE HARDLY KNOW EACH OTHER YOU COULD GET KIDNAPPED!

Not that we know what kidnapping is!

Second, I'm so happy that you all sent me your addresses because as it turns out you are all very evenly spread out across the country so I now have a place to stay in every state, which is going to be very convenient when I'm running from the law.

I am so excited about this incredibly important thing we are doing. I'm trying to organize the list so that the Snuggie moves as efficiently across the world as possible (with some exceptions). There were handfuls of people living in the same town as each other so I'm trying to group those up together so that some of you can save the time and postage and just hand-deliver the Snuggie package.

The whole thing depends on everyone doing their part as quickly and efficiently as possible, so when it gets passed to you, please neglect every possible obligation in your whole life and get me a picture and send it off as quickly as you possibly can.

And if you don't do it, just remember that I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!! [booming thunder!!!]

Also, if you emailed me your address, you are on the list. The list is getting long-ish so it may take a while for the Snuggie to get to you so please be patient.

Also also, one person emailed me and her address caught my eye because IT'S ON THE SAME FREAKING STREET AS MY HOUSE!

So I immediately emailed her back and inquired whether she was a murderer and she said she's probably not but that she saw me walking Duncan once and that was kind of trippy for her because she had no idea that we were neighbors. Then I walked over to her house and looked in all of her windows and she has so many cats that everyone reading this probably just got ringworm.

Which reminds me, every single person on the entire Internet emailed me yesterday and was like "WHAT IF PEOPLE DON'T WASH THE SNUGGIE AND WE ALL GET SMALLPOX."

If the human race is going to be wiped out because of Smallpox, I think it would be pretty cool if the history books used by dogs one day have an entire chapter called "Strangerhood of the Traveling Snuggie: How Humans Died." But also I was watching Madame Secretary on Sunday and someone got Smallpox and it looked really disgusting so I think it might be a good idea not to encourage that. So if you guys could, like, wash it occasionally, that would be awesome.

Also, please don't participate if you or anyone you've ever met in your entire life has had lice or bedbugs.

And finally, I'm told that in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants the item of clothing that gets passed around is special because it magically fits everyone in the group. Skylar told me to inform you that this Snuggie has the same quality.

Oh, and Skylar made this. It took him way too long.

~It Just Gets Stranger