I think Duncan might have serial killer tendencies.

He hasn't attempted to murder me or Skylar, to our knowledge. This is good, because I place my life in his paws every day. If Duncan suddenly wanted me dead, you all would be looking for a new place on the Internet to read subliminal messages about competitive PTA races by tomorrow morning. All he would have to do is put cyanide in my soup. And I know. I could decrease the likelihood of this happening by locking the cyanide closet in my house or taking him off of the cooking rotation, but I don't need to. Because Duncan doesn't seem interested in killing me.

He does seem interested in killing many other people, though. Mostly people on wheels.

We take Duncan for a walk every day to the college campus by my house. Duncan loves this activity more than any of you love your mothers. He loves it so much that if he hears us say the word "walk," he has to be sedated.

This is such a problem that we have developed a truly subconscious practice of spelling out the word if ever we have cause to say it. So subconscious, in fact, that two weeks ago I spelled it in a work meeting and then had to explain why I was spelling the word in a hushed voice like it was a swear.

The hushed voice is necessary because somehow Duncan has started to figure out the spelling.

I know. We sound crazy. But my dog is learning to spell. And he might be a murderer.

Skylar isn't always great at spelling the word. Twenty minutes ago he made two attempts, the first of which was "W-K-L no wait" and then after he thought through it for a moment he proceeded with his second attempt "W-K-A-L."

The point is I hope literacy is not important in the medical field.

And Duncan could possibly be a killer.

He started chasing down skateboarders earlier this year. He doesn't bark at them, usually because there is a toy in his mouth. He doesn't attempt to bite. He doesn't even growl, which actually makes the practice more disarming.

He just chases them until he can get in front and force them to jump off and into some bushes.

We always yell, "so sorry! He just started doing this and we don't know why!" even though it's been like eight months now and we probably should stop pretending to be shocked.

Fortunately Duncan is cute enough that he's able to get away with it (he and I have so much in common), so usually the skateboarder will then stop to pet him and throw the ball for him.

A few months ago he started developing the same habit for bikes, which was scarier.

We've gotten good enough at distracting him when we see a bike or skateboard coming. We've saved many lives through this practice.

But then today Duncan became a true villain.

It happened in slow motion. I was just coming off of the high of distracting him from chasing down a motorized scooter when a woman in a wheelchair turned the corner.

Does anyone know a lawyer?

Also, please enjoy a truly beautiful story today in Strangerville:

This time in Strangerville, people hate-crime Meg and Eli by taking bad photos of them. And a pregnant woman has a scare in an ice-cream shop.Story:Twenty-Eight Weeks, by Jenna NelsonMusic: Adventure, Darling by GillicuddyFrom: The Free Music ArchiveProduction by Eli McCann & Meg Walter

~It Just Gets Stranger