Ok look. Game of Thrones is ending tonight and I feel like I've been very patient with its existence because the HBO boobs bring y'all so much joy so I haven't complained about it hardly at all.
Every Sunday night when Skylar watches it I have to leave the house because the sounds of Game of Thrones stress me out to a point that I truly don't need when I'm already experiencing the Sunday Night Scaries.
I don't complain. You guys know I don't complain about anything. I am so supportive of Skylar and all of you rotting your brains through mindless violence.
But then yesterday Skylar told me the millenials have started a petition to get Game of Thrones to redo the last season because the dragons aren't fiery enough or Gandalf died too soon or they don't like how Jabba the Spock was portrayed driving the starprise galactica through Hogwarts and I'm putting my foot down here.
A. Millenials, you can't solve everything through petitions. I venture to say you've never solved anything through petitions. Stop with the petitions. I once signed a petition at my high school job because a boy got fired for mooning the supervisor and we all wanted him to get his job back and the supervisor called to tell me if I didn't rat out the person who started the petition I would be fired next and I screamed that person's name before she even finished the question so the point is PETITIONS DON'T WORK. EVER.
B. When Skylar watches Game of Thrones on Sunday nights it actually makes me resent TV and this is unacceptable. Don't ruin the most important relationship of my life. Or my relationship with Skylar.
C. Last week Meg wrote an article about how she waited to tune in to watch only the last season of Game of Thrones for the sole purpose of being able to understand the jokes and if you create a surprise extra last season her work will have all been in vain and Meg is a nice person so stop attacking her.
D. I don't have it in me to be patient through another season of this. I already paced myself with a May 19, 2019 finish line in mind. You don't get to fake me out and tell me I have to run another lap as I sprint to the finish line, bleeding from my nipples because bodies are gross and we weren't meant to run. I had a high school track coach who did that to me once during a track workout and you want to know what ended up happening to him? I'll tell you! I was not pleased and I frowned when he next saw me. Do you really want something like that to happen again?
So, no. You don't get to type your name into a website and make another season of this happen. It's over. You had your shot. You need to move on now. There are real victims here, and those victims are me and Meg and probably boobs.
While you think about what you've done, please enjoy some Strangerville, featuring tasteful nudity.
This time in Strangerville, Meg is at war. With a rat. Also a young man recounts his heartbreaking experience of losing a parent to cancer.Segment[Repeat] Voicemails, by Tyler Wood (Narration by Jolyn Metro, Music by Eli McCann)Production by Eli McCann & Meg Walter
~It Just Gets Stranger