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Eli: Did you hear we have to start washing our hands?
Skylar: Uh . . .
Eli: Yeah. There's like a super contagious disease going around right now so we have to wash our hands after we touch stuff like the bathroom door handle and payphones.
Skylar: Are you . . . using payphones?
Eli: You really need to educate yourself. This thing is bad. We really have to start washing our hands.
Skylar: No, I'm aware of the Corona Virus. But I'm concerned about the word "start"--
Eli: And coughing and stuff. Like, you have to be extra careful not to cough on people right now because there's like a 50% chance of dying if you catch this.
Skylar: Well, no. Actually--
Eli: It's basically worse than Ebola. And Smallpox. And tetanus.
Skylar: Definitely not true.
Eli: It's not worse than tetanus or diabetes?
Skylar: Wait, do you think diabetes is contag--
Eli: I can't believe this is all happening on the week I've decided to do a juice cleanse.
Skylar: You do realize you're eating a block of cheese right now.
Eli: Do you think my juice cleanse will make me more or less likely to catch Coronapox?
Skylar: Where do I even start with answering this question . . .
Eli: I kind of want to make brownies but I'm worried that would completely undermine all of the benefits of my juice cleanse.
Skylar: Well, I guess you could just eat the batter. That's basically brownie juice.
Eli: OMG you are a genius and my soulmate.
Skylar: I was completely mocking you and not at all proposing that seriously.,
Eli: Well you better stop mocking me or I won't give you any of these brownies.
Skylar: No! I'm sorry!
Eli: Fine. You can have some. But only if you wash your hands. Apparently we have to start doing that now.
Coronapox |
~It Just Gets Stranger