Eli: I need to talk to you guys about something very important.
You Guys: Ok . . . we're a little nervous. Are we in trouble?
Eli: Oh, gosh no! I could never be mad at you guys!
You Guys: Oh, thank heavens. Is it serious?
Eli: Well, kind of. First of all you know that I love you very very much, right?
You Guys: Really? Then why did you introduce the Queen of Colors to us?
Eli: That was out of love. You need to know what kind of evil exists in the world.
You Guys: And what about last week when you only blogged like two and a half times and we had nothing to do all day except for our jobs and/or raising our children?
Eli: I already apologized for that on Friday. I made a mistake. I got busy. I was young. I needed the money.
You Guys: Huh?
Eli: Sorry. I got my excuses mixed up.
You Guys: Ok. So then what is this all about?
Eli: Well, you know how I moved back to Salt Lake City recently?
You Guys: Yes.
Eli: Well, since I decided to move back to Salt Lake, I knew I needed to decide whether or not I was going to live alone.
You Guys: Go on.
Eli: So I made my decision a while back and I was waiting for the right time to tell you and I think now is that right time. I want you to meet Kurt.
You Guys: Oh my gosh, Eli! That's so wonderful!
Eli: I know!
You Guys: We've always wanted a little brother!
Eli: A little brother?
You Guys: Yes! You're going to adopt him! Right?
Eli: Adopt him?! . . . No . . . he's going to be my new roommate!
You Guys: WHAT?!? ELI!!!? HOW COULD YOU!!??! YOU DIDN'T EVEN ASK US FIRST?!
Eli: I know, you guys. Maybe I should have. But I think you're really going to like Kurt. He's not like us. He's nice to other people and he doesn't do stuff like harass TMZ or make fun of cats.
You Guys: But do you think you're even going to get along with him?
Eli: Yes, because we are the same height so my wardrobe basically just doubled, which means I don't have to buy clothes anymore or pay to get other people's clothes tailored.
You Guys: But does he know that you're going to wake him up by clawing his face and meowing at him?
Eli: He will tomorrow!
You Guys: And what about laundry?
Eli: What about it?
You Guys: Does he know that he's going to be doing your laundry?
~It Just Gets Stranger