Ironman State of the Union, Spring About six months ago I moved back from Palau to the United States of God Bless America. And when I did, I had a hard time updating you all on
Ridiculous Daniel Discovers Stranger Daniel called me the other day. We hadn't talked for a little while. The following conversation happened. Daniel: Eli. I canNOT believe you shared that video with people. Eli: What video? What people? I WAS YOUNG! I NEEDED THE MONEY! Daniel: Huh?
Ridiculous The Crack of Dawn Yesterday morning I awoke to the sounds of a screamed obscenity. It wasn't me, although it could have been and has been on many prior occasions. Kurt and I are early risers. This is a new thing for me. In Palau Daniel
Ridiculous Palau Ruined Me I left Palau just two and a half months ago. Really? Is that all? Does it seem like it's been a lot longer than that to you guys? Someone get out a calendar and help me learn how to read it. Right
Shea Throat Chlamydia Ring Ring Val: Hello? Eli: DID YOU KNOW THERE'S SUCH A THING AS THROAT CHLAMYDIA?! Val: . . . Eli? Eli: I feel so gross right now! You have to help
Ridiculous The Tinder This week on “things the kids are doing” I bring you something called “the Tinder.” When I got back from Palau I came quickly to find that every single person
Snapchat The Snapchats Yesterday: Woman on the News: Up next, we're going to talk about text bombing and how it might be hurting your child. Eli: What on Earth is "
Ridiculous Whelp, TIME TO MOVE AGAIN! I woke up this morning at 5:00. Started singing at the top of my lungs. Dance-walked to the shower. Sang at the top of my lungs there, too. The
Ridiculous Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Happy Friday. I hope we're all on sugar highs from stealing children's Halloween candy. If anyone gets judgmental, tell them you're doing it to
Ridiculous The Many Lives of O2 I have a plant named O2. I know I've mentioned him before. Usually when I've mentioned him it's because I'm comparing myself to all of my peers who practically have grandchildren by now and I want
Kurt Moab Over the weekend a few of my closest friends and I headed south to Moab, Utah, to explore Arches and Canyonlands National Parks. These places are quickly becoming a couple
Ridiculous Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions It's been a long and exceedingly difficult week here in Salt Land. Maybe when my head stops spinning I'll tell you about some of it. But
Ridiculous Cologne Recently I was informed by a multitude of individuals that apparently "smelling good" is not a thing I'm good at. I'm good at a lot of things. I know the Heimlich maneuver. I can quote word-for-word the entirety
Ridiculous Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Happy weekend, Strangers. I hope you all have a nice one. My 10-year-old niece called me late last night to remind me that I said she could come stay with
Ridiculous Roommate Assessment Val: Kurt, what's it like living with Eli? Kurt: It's a little challenging. Eli: Guys? I'm right here. Val: Shush. The grownups are having a conversation. Kurt: It takes a lot of energy and I don't
Corey Lamps There's this really serious problem that I have that I didn't realize I had until I moved back to Salt Lake City. It's sort of a subset of a greater problem that I did know I had. And,
Ridiculous Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Happy weekend, all. A huge thanks to those who came out to The Porch last night and said hello. It was fun to meet some of you. And due to
Ridiculous Emergency Contact One more reminder that The Porch is on Thursday evening. Doors open at 8:00 and the show starts at 8:30. I think there are still tickets and you can purchase them here [http://utahporch.org/provo]. Also, I know that even when
The Siblings Axel Remember last week when I was worried that I maybe had skin cancer? With my particular kind of skin (cough--FRECKLES--cough--hash tag, searchingforacure), skin cancer runs in the family and is,
Ridiculous Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Another week has come to a close here in Strangerville. Remind me next week to give you the update about the thing on my arm. Oh, and if you see
Ridiculous Is This What Kurt Does All Day? My office is less than a block away from where I live. So frequently I walk home to get lunch or feed my cats or scream into a pillow out
Ridiculous A Serious Conversation about Stalking Eli: Hey, I have a question for you. Kurt: I know this is either going to be really disconcerting or extremely infuriating, but ok. Eli: This is actually kind of a serious topic. Something happened today and I'm a little uneasy. Actually,
FYI State of the Union This is sort of a state of the union post. Because I’ve now been in the United States of God Bless America for over two weeks and some of
Ridiculous Housewife Kurt is an ER nurse. When I try to picture him on the job, I usually see some mixture of General Hospital, Scrubs, and The Brady Bunch (because he gives off a strong Peter Brady vibe). Because he's a nurse, he has
Ridiculous The Thing Behind Kurt's Ear Kurt: Will you look at this thing behind my ear? Eli: What do you think I am? Your doctor? Kurt: Just look. It's freaking me out and I don't know what it is. Eli: Ugh. Fine. But I don'
