It's been a long time. And I know you guys have been dying to know the answers to the below questions. So I went to Yahoo! Answers. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Question 1: Is it infidelity if I'm married but I kiss my cat a lot? If it makes a difference, the cat is married, too.

1. No, it's ok. Love is love, even if the rest of the world doesn't recognize it. ~JenWales

2. I think you might be a crazy person. ~HotPeppers

3. It depends. Is your husband giving you the attention you need? What about the cat's spouse? Are you in open relationships? Do you use tongue when you kiss? Are the feelings mutual? It's basically impossible to answer this question without a LOT of detail. ~Trailman

4. Well we need to know who married the cat. Obviously. ~Jad



Question 2: How long is it supposed to take before lice helps you lose weight? I got lice about 2 months ago because I know a lot of the celebrities get it now because they eat all your food and you get so super skinny but I've actually gained weight and I just want to know how long you are supposed to let them nest before it works.

1. Wherever you go this idea, put it in you "not true" file and forget it. Get rid of the lice. They don't make you thin. ~Christin

2. I don't know why the hell you would use bugs to ******* lose weight! When all you need is not freaking eat Sweet stuff/junk food and do cardio!!! ~Dashiell

3. WTF are you talking about? Lice are a parasite that eat your dead skin and drink your blood. Lice do not cause weight loss. ~Sheloves

4. I bet you made the rookie mistake of mixing up weight-loss remedies with natural vaccines. Lice keep away disease. It's ringworm that makes you lose weight. You just have to get it all over your whole body and let it sit for 6 to 8 months. Then you will be SO SUPER skinny. ~Tyson


Question 3: How hard is it to get pregnant after menopause? Keep in mind that my grandma looks very young for her age.

1. Um . . . I would say that obviously at that age it's GRANDPA'S turn to carry the child. The bigotry implicit in your question is disappointing. ~Janaba

2. Super easy. But since your grandma's eggs have all died, you have to use a chicken egg. Any old one from the store will do. Ask the manager for a tool called "clampers" that you'll need to use to insert the egg. He'll know what you're talking about. GOOD LUCK! ~Bestboy


Question 4: Is cat surrogacy catching on yet? I want my cat, Trixy, to experience motherhood even though I'm not sure she is responsible enough. But I don't want the pregnancy to destroy her body before pageant season so I've been searching for a surrogate but everyone just seems so selfish and I don't even know if it's possible to find one.

1. Honey, there's no such thing. ~Quetzel

2. It is catching on but you have to go to Mexico for it and you have to be willing to carry the kittens in your own womb. Also, it costs like 15 dollars and they only take cash. ~Bestboy

3. Why are you trying to bring more cats into this world? Trixy should adopt! There are millions of cats who need a home to go to. YOUR home. ~Bearnli

~It Just Gets Stranger