I was recently looking through my phone and I remembered that I had saved some of my favorite text conversations over the last couple of years with the intention of eventually sharing them with you. Here are some of them:
*****
[Coordinating for a blind date]
Eli: Hey, just to confirm, I'll pick you up at 7:00 tonight. Right?
Her: Sounds good!
Eli: Great! Touch you soon!
Her: Uh . . . that's . . . presumptuous . . .
Eli: I meant to touch youth!
Eli: AHHHH!!!
Eli: TOUCHING is not what I meant! See! I will see you soon!
Eli: Do you still want to go?
Her: Sure. But can we meet somewhere public?
*****
Jolyn: Ugh. Why do they sell meth at the farmer's market?
Eli: Seriously!? I knew it! Remember when I called this!? Which stand? It's those fresh bread people isn't it!? I told you there was something weird about them! The guy with beady eyes!
Jolyn: Uh. I meant meat. But I'm concerned about how not surprised you were that someone was selling meth.
*****
Cathie: How's my special special boy!!?!?!? :) Someone LOVE LOVE LOVES you!!! XOXOXOXOXOXO
Eli: Thanks. But who is this?
Eli: Oh, is this Mandy? BTW, last night was great. What time did you end up leaving? I never heard you get up. Oh, and what's your last name?
Cathie: NOT. FUNNY. Young man!
*****
Kurt: I've noticed that you never really smell good.
Eli: Uh . . . did you mean to send that to me?
Kurt: Yes.
Eli: Oh. Was it a typo?
Kurt: No.
*****
Cathie: No one likes a frowny face so change it to a smile! Turn that frown right upside down and smile all the while!
Eli: Mom, are you drunk again?
Cathie: You know I don't drink!
Eli: Just checking.
Cathie: I only get high on the good stuff.
Eli: Please don't say what I think you're going to say.
Cathie: I'm high on life! Because I love my little boy! XOXOXOXOXOXOXO!
Eli: Ugh. There it is.
~It Just Gets Stranger
Text Conversations to Remember
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