I was recently looking through my phone and I remembered that I had saved some of my favorite text conversations over the last couple of years with the intention of eventually sharing them with you. Here are some of them:

[Coordinating for a blind date]

Eli: Hey, just to confirm, I'll pick you up at 7:00 tonight. Right?

Her: Sounds good!

Eli: Great! Touch you soon!

Her: Uh . . . that's . . . presumptuous . . .

Eli: I meant to touch youth!

Eli: AHHHH!!!

Eli: TOUCHING is not what I meant! See! I will see you soon!

Eli: Do you still want to go?

Her: Sure. But can we meet somewhere public?


Jolyn: Ugh. Why do they sell meth at the farmer's market?

Eli: Seriously!? I knew it! Remember when I called this!? Which stand? It's those fresh bread people isn't it!? I told you there was something weird about them! The guy with beady eyes!

Jolyn: Uh. I meant meat. But I'm concerned about how not surprised you were that someone was selling meth.


Cathie: How's my special special boy!!?!?!? :) Someone LOVE LOVE LOVES you!!! XOXOXOXOXOXO

Eli: Thanks. But who is this?

Eli: Oh, is this Mandy? BTW, last night was great. What time did you end up leaving? I never heard you get up. Oh, and what's your last name?

Cathie: NOT. FUNNY. Young man!


Kurt: I've noticed that you never really smell good.

Eli: Uh . . . did you mean to send that to me?

Kurt: Yes.

Eli: Oh. Was it a typo?

Kurt: No.


Cathie: No one likes a frowny face so change it to a smile! Turn that frown right upside down and smile all the while!

Eli: Mom, are you drunk again?

Cathie: You know I don't drink!

Eli: Just checking.

Cathie: I only get high on the good stuff.

Eli: Please don't say what I think you're going to say.

Cathie: I'm high on life! Because I love my little boy! XOXOXOXOXOXOXO!

Eli: Ugh. There it is.

~It Just Gets Stranger