Running The Pioneer Day Marathon That Wasn't On Pioneer Day They shuttle you to the tippiest top of the toppiest mountain at negative eleventy in the morning for the Pioneer Day marathon. I was already in shock before the alarm
House Yard Hoarders We may have an actual problem at this point. It started out slowly. My mother handed me a plow my great grandpa used for the entire second half of the
Skylar Covid Vaccine The granola vaccine lady with spiky hair told me yesterday afternoon that with my second Covid shot I may experience "some symptoms." I, of course, waved her away with a
Essays My Elderly Parents Got Covid And It Was Terrifying When we entered These Unprecedented Times due to the Covid pandemic, my immediate thought was "my parents better not catch this thing." It occupied much of my brain power for
Grandma Grandma's Knitting Needles We visited my parents on Saturday night to bring them dinner as they (hopefully) wrap up their attention-seeking brushes with covid death. We've been texting them every day for updates
Nostalgia Sleep Last Thursday I stayed at my parents' house so I could babysit my mother. She said it was unnecessary, and I think she was probably right, but with dad in
Bob and Cathie Soup My parents tested positive for Covid a couple weeks ago. I'll probably share more about how stressful (I mean, like, living in a nightmare concocted by Satan itself) this has
Ridiculous Companionship Inventory When Skylar and I got married my mother—the woman who birthed me into this world—the being from whom my body emerged through a process she has since called
Ridiculous My Mother's Pickle Canning Recipe None Of You Asked For, Which Was Rude I'm basically Martha Stewart now, except I've been to less prison and I look better in skirts. I thought I might as well fully lean in and turn Stranger into
Bob and Cathie Out of Gas We drove to a little farm yesterday morning to buy crap to put in jars and leave on our shelves to rot. Canning truly is one of my favorite annual
Ridiculous My Mother's Spaghetti Canning Recipe No One Asked For, Which Was Rude My most vivid memory from my entire childhood is stuffing my face into a giant green pillow in the basement during canning season as the house would fill with overpowering
Ridiculous Eternal Vine My parents have this Jumanji vine consuming a whole side of their house. They planted it back before the war when they were young and dumb and so full of
Emily Photos of People Having an Authentic Time at my Wedding I'm going to give you a bunch of details about the wedding with some actual wedding photos, etc. in the coming days. But for now, I want to leave you
Emily In 1968 This time in Strangerville, Salt Lake City will give you a giant flag to help you cross the street. And then a story about fixing up an old bicycle (written
Ridiculous Cable For a while I've been the last person in America paying for cable. This is fitting, since I was the last person in America to start paying for cable as
Church To Be Seen I kept myself busy throughout my life as a coping mechanism. If I was too busy to stop and think, I would be too busy to be afraid. If I
Ridiculous REAMS. Eventually I moved away from my parents' home. I grew up and changed. My parents changed. You changed. Everyone changed. Except for REAMS. REAMS stayed exactly the same.
The Siblings It's Raining Men I say that I’m not a cruise person. That doesn’t mean I didn’t have a good time last week with all 6,000 members of my family
Ollie Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions You guys--people are mad right now and I can't hold them off any longer. All of a sudden in the last couple of weeks I've had multiple Strangers out of
Grandma Farm House I know this is the last thing I need in my life right now, but you guys. On Sunday Bob and Cathie drove me and Skylar and my sister Krishelle
Ollie Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions It's been raining in Salt Lake for eleventy days and #We'reThankfulForTheMoisture but the problem is I now have a mushroom garden in my entire lawn and it's stressing me out
Ironman Half Ironman, 2019 The worst part of doing a half or full Ironman, besides the swimming, biking, and running, is the whole week leading up to the race. You're supposed to go to
Ironman Half Ironmans are a Mistake The St. George half Ironman is somehow only one month away, which means that you people are about to commit your annual felony of failing to stop me from doing
Ollie We have Photoshop so now we're ALL going to college. Because I STILL cannot stop reading and talking about the college admissions scam stuff, I tweeted the other day Could someone out there help photoshop my face onto a water
Bob and Cathie A Good Year for the Reservoirs When I was a kid my grandpa lived in southern California and he was obsessed with the Weather Channel. He always seem to be acutely aware of the likelihood of
