So the other day I posted that thing about my family reunion and how my grandma wanted to go clubbin' with me and I made a passing joke that my giant Utah Mormon family is so huge that I'm related to all of you and WHY WEREN'T YOU AT THE FAMILY REUNION. Well then people started suggesting that we all create a group on some genealogy website. And I immediately started twitching because I suddenly had eleventy flashbacks to that one time all of my smart ass cousins simultaneously shared this video on Facebooks, tagging all five million members of our family. And then I had that awful song stuck in my head for A MONTH.
Well. The Strangers then came through. Swingwise, specifically, bless his little heart.
I hesitated momentarily but then went to family search and created an account so I could join the group at relativefinder.org. And it was amazing. The page shows you everyone else in the group and ranks each group member according to how closely they are related to you.
And then some of you started joining the group. Because it is really important to find out how related we all are. And we started realizing that we are ALL SUPER CLOSE FAMILY.
Then things started getting super shady. And Bob and Cathie's entire history got called into question (Krishelle is my sister).
But before this scandal could even be addressed, KRo discovered something much more important than finding out how related we all are.
And she/he wasn't wrong to not be disappointed.
I think this may have been a craft for Eli's Mom Blog's So Way Cute Craft Competition that never got submitted.
But anyway, back to being inappropriately excited about distant relations.
Then Logan jumped in and started asking the hard questions THAT NO ONE IN THIS WORLD CAN ANSWER WITHOUT AN ADVANCED ROCKET SCIENCE DEGREE. And suddenly this competition started feeling like a game of poker.
Also, every party has a pooper and that's why we invited Brandon.
Stop raining on our parade, Brandon. You're probably our emo cousin at the reunion who sits in the corner lighting his hand on fire as he occasionally glares at us with his one eye that isn't being covered up by his hair. GET A HAIRCUT BRANDON!
Fortunately swingwise returned and brought honor back to Bob and Cathie's recently tarnished names. But he also reiterated the importance of having a rocket science degree to understand anything that is going on here.
Then Suzzzz informed us that although she apparently has time to type four Zs for her name, I will not be getting a birthday card this year. And then she alerted us to the bigger issues here. Because Iceland.
Which finally brings us to something Chelsea must either explain or she should be tried for crimes against humanity.
The clock is ticking, Chelsea.
P.S. Lee did email me and informed me that he is apparently not related to any of us. So if anyone is looking to adopt, I think this may be a good opportunity.
P.P.S. If you guys are related to me it means YOU ARE ALSO RELATED TO TAMI!
~It Just Gets Stranger