So here I am sitting in my apartment, drinking waaaaay too much NEVER YOU MIND WHAT I'M DRINKING.

Fine. Nonalcoholic black currant juice from the Farmer's Market. But it has a LOT of sugar. Don't tell Bob and Cathie.

And I was trying to decide what to write and then I was like, "you know what, Eli? You haven't done anything from the Lost Journal Series in a long time. Also, your hair looks better than everyone's in the entire world." And I was like, "thank you! But don't insult Paul Simon like that. Nobody's anything is better than Paul Simon's same thing." And I was like, "right. Sorry. Thanks for the correction."

So today I give you several selections from the Lost Journal Series.

I first started this series two years ago and in it I posted, word-for-word, journal entries from my childhood during which I recorded my embarrassing thoughts religiously.

My best friend from way back, Sam, and I will sometimes get together and read my childhood journal out loud. He has commented that you don't really get the full effect of these entries without hearing me read them in the tone in which they were most likely written. So I decided to record a video of myself reading the below entries for you to listen to as you follow along, should you so desire.

October 11, 1994 (10 Years Old)

My dads Birthday is this week. He is so old because is 42 now. I dont no how old granpas are but he is prety much a grandpa cept he doesnt have grandkids but its ok because he probly wil when my sister is leaving high school because she is getting old to. At school we got to see my report card and it has very good grades on it. I played hoky today. Halloween.

October 12, 1994 (10 Years Old)

Today was pitcher day at school. My pitcher was taken perfectly. After school I went and played footbal. Im not very good at sports.

November 4, 1994 (10 Years Old)

Today I went and played with my friend Jared. People are murderd everyday. I know this because the news. There is nothing good about that except that sum peple will say that it is good for the population of the Earth and that is not a good reason to MURDER.

November 6, 1994 (10 Years Old)

Today was Sunday and we went to church. Sometimes I wish that church was only for one minute but it is like 1 milion minutes. But I think that god makes the time go slower so you can be in church for longer and that is NOT EVEN FAIR because why wont he just make the time when I play with my friends longer so that that would be waaaaaaaaay better and then church to be shorter because sometimes its boring I'M JUST SAYING!!! Magic shows are not always real.

November 2, 1994 (10 Years Old)

Next time Jared shows off Im going to give him a dime and say go call someone who cares. Sometimes jared is my best friend but today he is not my best friend and I hope he knows it and maybe he will read this journal HAHA!

~It Just Gets Stranger