Ironman An Unfortunate Sequel Doctor: So I understand you have had some new episodes. Eli: It sounds so dramatic when you say it in that voice! Doctor: Well your heart started racing and you got light-headed and fainted. That's pretty dramatic. Eli: I'm sorry.
Ironman The People of Ironman Boulder Ironman Boulder is now somehow less than three weeks away AND OH MY GOSH WHO IS IN CHARGE OF TIME AND WHY ARE THEY MESSING IT UP!? You guys. THREE WEEKS. Wasn't it just, like, yesterday that I was telling you all
Wade Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. Matthew Pants went to his home state of Mississippi (or, as he calls it, "Miss'ippi&
Emails Disneyland Emails II Last week I posted Disneyland Emails [https://www.itjustgetsstranger.com/2015/07/disneyland-emails.html]. I had sent emails to a few different places in the massive Disneyland network. The response
The Siblings Well Look What the Stork Brought My baby sister emitted human life from her womb on Thursday. This is her third child. I was ecstatic for little Lucy to come because: A. Baby sister makes sassy
Ollie Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Did you guys hear that this weekend is The United States of God Bless America's birthday? Party hard, Strangers. Tami and I will be barbecuing if anyone wants
Emails Disneyland Emails Did you guys know you can email Disneyland on pretty much any topic and they will respond to you right away? To: Disneyland From: June Snapple Subject: Fairy-tale Wedding Dear
The Perfects Eli's Swamp I know this story is going to sound exaggerated but I swear to you it is not. You guys. I'm a mess. My life is a mess. The
The Perfects Musical Cars and Meth Labs At any given time there are eleventy cars in my driveway. This is mostly because at any given time Young Wade owns eleventy cars. I'm not kidding you about this. He has this hobby where he buys cars at auction, drives them
Grandma Things My friend and I were sitting in a bookstore a few hours ago watching a hipster play a violin (quite well, I might add). He interrupted his own music every once in a while to give a very long explanation about how we are
Ridiculous Things I've Heard the Plumber Say from the Other Room So Far this Morning "Hahahahahahahahaha. Well THAT was unexpected." "There's one thing I know for sure and that's that you can't beat the price of bread!" "It wouldn't be a big deal if Mary would
Ollie Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Rebecca has been out of my life for two weeks now and I'M NOT PLEASED. I haven't heard much from her. But last weekend she called
Ridiculous Mega Drought Dispatch: 911. What's your emergency? Eli: Ok. So real quick--I'm not sure that this is an emergency. Dispatch: Eli. Seriously? Again? Eli: There is water BILLOWING down the street. BILLOWING. Dispatch: And what is your concern? Eli: Well, maybe you
Wade Jurassic World: Is America Getting Dumber? You guys. I saw Jurassic World this weekend. And oh my gosh. YOU GUYS. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US? Seriously. Are we getting dumber? Is America getting dumber?! I know the entire Internets are already full of people complaining about things and tearing apart
Wade Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Last night I returned home from work to find Young Wade curled up in the fetal position on the couch, clammy, and possibly moments from death. He looked like someone
Ridiculous Ms. Painter The year was 1993. It was a warm Spring day. I was in Ms. Painter's 3rd grade class. Torie Thomas and I were both required to sit at the front of the classroom because, as was noted on our report cards, "
Wade Wake-Up Call Mr. Ollie Pants stayed at my house this weekend. This was a wonderful thing. Mr. Pants hasn't slept over for many weeks and I have had major withdrawals.
Wade Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions It's Wade's birthday. He's turning 9. Or something. I'm not sure anymore. All I know is that he wasn't even
Wade Murderers in the Backyard Ring ring. Wade: Hello. Rebecca: THERE ARE MURDERERS IN MY BACKYARD!!! Wade: Huh? Rebecca: MURDERERS! MURDERERS IN MY BACKYARD!!! Wade: Care to elaborate? Rebecca: I heard large crashing sounds in the backyard and now I know there are murderers back there trying to kill
Ridiculous Massage Mishap What I'm about to tell you may end our cyber friendship. I'm aware of the risks. But I feel like it's my civic duty
Ukraine 10 Tips for Traveling on a Budget Over the last few years I've received a lot of emails from people asking how I have been able to travel as much as I have and whether
Wade Sometimes They Go Rebecca: Do you want my bed? Eli: Your twin sized child bed? No. No I do not. Rebecca: Well I don't know what to do with it. Eli:
Wade Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Today after I left the office I went to the gym to swim. As I often do, when I exited the pool, I entered the steam room for some light
Wade Surprise Birthday Party My birthday was on Monday and I turned 31 which means that I am now in my 30s. It was sort of a state of limbo for a while because when you're 30 it means you're not in your 20s
Famous for all the Wrong Reasons You guys. A strange thing happened this weekend. I woke up to some messages from a friend I made in Bosnia. The first message said: "I wonna send you