Strangerville 35th Birthday Surprise Skylar told me he had a surprise for my 35th birthday and I was exceptionally concerned about this because look. I love that man. But, his surprises are sometimes terrifying.
Ollie Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions It's been raining in Salt Lake for eleventy days and #We'reThankfulForTheMoisture but the problem is I now have a mushroom garden in my entire lawn and
Ridiculous Mean Girls Someone taught Matt how to use the internet so now he's employed one of them what-the-kids-are-calling "apps" to turn all of us into women. Snapchat? I
Essays No, It's Not Some Fever Dream; Saturday's Warrior Really Happened. I wondered how hard it would be to find it, and whether I would have to also locate a VCR if ever I wanted to watch it again. I was in luck.
Ridiculous Petitions Ok look. Game of Thrones is ending tonight and I feel like I've been very patient with its existence because the HBO boobs bring y'all so
EMBARRASSING I really can't go back to this gym again. For real this time. You guys. There's a gym right next to my office so most days I take some time in the afternoon to go workout and get all swole and
Ridiculous The Zion Face The other day I wrote that thing about hiking in God's Costco with Skylar last weekend. I shared some pictures and of course expected you, my adoring fans,
Ridiculous ZionSSSS I had a work conference in St. George Utah this weekend, which should have been a hate crime since I was there one week ago for the half Ironman. You
Ridiculous Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions I'm in St. George for the second time in seven days because apparently I really love driving now. I have a lawyer conference here this weekend wherein I
Medical School Intruder On Monday night at about 3:00 AM Skylar suddenly sat up in bed and screamed. It was HORRIFYING. It obviously woke me up. "What's wrong?!"
Ironman Half Ironman, 2019 The worst part of doing a half or full Ironman, besides the swimming, biking, and running, is the whole week leading up to the race. You're supposed to
House The Hole in my Front Yard I told you a little while ago that my concrete steps leading up to the house look like Chernobyl. They have been crumbling apart for years. They are as old
EMBARRASSING Voicemail Surprise It was 2007 and my roommate, Quinn, had a birthday coming up so I decided that I should throw him a little birthday party. I was going to make a
Ironman Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions I came home and found that my rhubarb plant, which I'm convinced could survive a nuclear blast on Venus during Coachella, has basically filled my backyard. So I
Corey The Restaurant By Our House There's this restaurant we like to go to near our house because the food is fine and it's always empty and this face wasn't
Ridiculous Movie Scenes You Skip As you know, I've been working on this four-part series on very uncomfortable Mormon films for Strangerville. Today we're releasing part three, which includes a review
Ollie Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions We're babysitting Mr. Ollie Pants this week because Matt is in "Miss'ippi." What this means is I've got a very judgmental dog
Ridiculous Game of Thrones Skylar: Do you want to watch Game of Thrones with me? Eli: I'd rather be eaten by warlocks. Skylar: Joke's on you because there aren'
Church A Text Gone Wrong Hola--Before we get to today's story, please enjoy Part 2 of our series on cringeworthy classic Mormon movies. This week we look at films about family. Isn'
Ollie Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Too busy to writeBut here you go anywayPics and Distractions [https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UJg5HRN8lqM/XK9gU4w57HI/AAAAAAAAoJE/jNA1gcvhmgYgofIv5kgLJwHXmdG98R9pwCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_4018.JPEG] Album cover. Simon and Barkunkel. [https://1.
Church The Mormon Coffee Rumor Meg is mad at me about coffee. I didn't actually do anything wrong, but homegirl is taking all of her anger out on me anyway. It started a
Church Mormon Films, Part I: Gender Roles For a little while I've been wanting to do a series on the cringiest and most memorable Mormon films from my childhood. There were a whole bunch of
Meg Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Next week Meg and I are doing another event for this whole Provo bachelor business (I know. Don't even start with me.). It's this "women
Ironman Half Ironmans are a Mistake The St. George half Ironman is somehow only one month away, which means that you people are about to commit your annual felony of failing to stop me from doing
Dating From Tinder to Temple Today, please enjoy my long-promised story about my first date with Skylar, which I told onstage at Strangerville Live last month. Written version also below. *****From Tinder to TempleBy Eli
