Ollie IKEA is Where Happiness Goes to Die I’ve mentioned to you before that the stairway to my basement is basically one of those caves from The Descent. To get through it, you have to lie upside-down at a 45 degree angle, suck in your stomach, and have someone slowly lower
House Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Last night I was talking about Fabio, as we all do a few times a week, and I asked my friend Skylar, Eli: How old do you think Fabio is?
Ollie Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Rebecca texted me at some ungodly hour this morning to inform me that she can't leave to go back to Washington DC until she sees me. So I
Wade Birthing a Mattress I've basically been sleeping on one of those Flintstone beds for the past few years. Just a very uncomfortable slab of bumpy rock. Except, worse even. If I so much as contemplate rolling over in it, the mattress squeaks so loudly that
Ollie Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions This week I ventured off to Cleveland. Before doing so Bob and Cathie informed me that I would certainly die. I didn't take this very seriously because they
The Perfects Eli's Swamp I know this story is going to sound exaggerated but I swear to you it is not. You guys. I'm a mess. My life is a mess. The
The Perfects Musical Cars and Meth Labs At any given time there are eleventy cars in my driveway. This is mostly because at any given time Young Wade owns eleventy cars. I'm not kidding you about this. He has this hobby where he buys cars at auction, drives them
Annie Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Wade and I are running a half marathon in Salt Lake on Saturday morning so to prepare we are eating a very large bag of Swedish Fish with Rebecca tonight
Ironman Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions I got an email this morning threatening informing me that the half Ironman is exactly one month away now. I immediately went and got into the pool and flopped around
The Perfects Plant a Tree for America I heard the shovel clank against something hard, and my whole body shook violently when it did, causing me to fall backward. The metal tip had gone less than an
Grandma Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Bob and Cathie showed up at my house tonight for another landscaping consultation. You guys. Everyone in this world needs a Bob and Cathie. No. I'm taking this
Ridiculous Did Eli Get the Garbage Bins Out? The Stranger community really pulled through this week. I got tweets. I got emails. I got Facebook messages. Several of you left comments on the most recent post. Comments which were entirely unrelated to what I had written that day. All efforts were made
Ridiculous Yard Work One of the main reasons I bought a home is because I wanted to till and take care of the Earth. You guys. I freaking love yard work. This was instilled in me at a very early age. Flashback! 1987 Cathie: And don'
Rebecca Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions You guys. Wednesday was garbage day and you forgot, AGAIN to remind me. This is getting really serious. In the four months I have lived in this house, I think
Rebecca My Favorite Complication A French woman asked me from the driver's seat where to turn. I pointed to the street and she emphatically and in a strong French accent told me that the homes lining the road were "lovely." Rebecca nodded along, agreeing
Ridiculous That Old Couch Several years ago I graduated from law school and moved to the BIG city with nothing but a dance belt and a tube of chapstick to call my own (please see Waiting For Guffman if you have not already). I had no furniture. None,
Ollie Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions You guys. Valentine's Day. It's not that I don't love that I'm Cathie's "NUMBER ONE VALENTINE XOXOXOXOXOXOXO" again.
Ollie The Wind Beneath My Wings This thing keeps happening where Matt shows up and does all of this complicated and probably dangerous work in my house with minimal effort and only half his attention and
Ridiculous My Garage I keep finding this weird stuff in my house because it was built sometime right after cavemen developed the first tool. Ok, so it's not quite that old.
Ollie Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions My five-year-old niece Emrie, formerly known as "the niece who hates me," called me tonight to ask if she can come sleep over at my house. Our relationship
Ollie Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions Grateful it's Friday around here. It was a long and hard week for me. I almost entered the Witness Protection Program on Tuesday just to get out of
Ridiculous Homeowner Responsibility One of the most difficult things about being a first-time homeowner is suddenly taking on a thousand new responsibilities that I've never had to deal with before or, in some cases, had even contemplated. A lot of these are simple, but not
Rebecca Rebecca Paints the Floor Ring ring. Eli: Respecta! This is the stage name I have chosen for Rebecca. Rebecca: Eli. I'm trying to get a hold of Matt to ask him some important home repair questions. But he isn't answering. Eli: Well you can
Ironman 2014 Each year when I sit down to write the New Year wrap-up post, I begin the process by reviewing what I wrote the year before. It gets me in the mood to reflect. And it's always fascinating to me to review the
Rebecca My Driveway I think my house was initially built with horse and buggy in mind. At least, that's the only way I can explain the driveway. It's exceedingly narrow, and I don't really know why because there is definitely room
